What Growing Up Deaf Taught Me About Listening

Growing up hard of hearing gave me a set of skills I now use every day when I work with leaders and teams. Three of them stand out.

1. Environmental awareness. Being hard of hearing, hypervigilance was key to understanding what's around me and the people in front of me. In order to survive, I had to pay attention, be constantly aware, and observe, to understand my environment and what was being presented.
2. Deep listening. It sounds ironic to say deaf people are extremely good listeners, but we've been trained to watch bodily cues, read lips, and for some, talk with body language.
3. Energy doesn't lie, words do. I've noticed at times, and perhaps you have too, that we can feel a certain way but say we feel a very different way. That's okay in some scenarios, maybe where you don't trust someone enough to open up to, but we all need to open up to someone eventually.

Energy doesn't lie. Words do.

Because we listen, and don't look at people as much anymore, we miss what they're really saying or feeling. That can damage a relationship. We could miss that we're loading someone with too much work, or that they're going through something that day and aren't themselves.

It's each party's responsibility to look at our own behaviors, feelings, and actions. But being human, sometimes we need a little help from others.